Not my tears to cry

Not my tears to cry

Sitting here with my pink laptop

Staring at the people drinking there coffees

Chatting, smiling, just going about their lives

I try to capture what you must have felt

I try to find the words to describe

The day you had to say goodbye

Again

Sitting here in my glittery flared pants

Distracted by the thoughts of the day to come

Checking my phone, now and then

I try to capture what you were going through

I try to do justice to the loneliness you felt

The day you had to say goodbye

Once more

Sitting here with my coffee with oat milk

Tearing up when reading what you said

When you were holding your little girl

I try to capture how fucking brave you were

I try to show the image of the young mother

The day you had to say goodbye

Again and again

To the love

You never thought

Would be yours

To the father

That he so briefly

Got to be

To the man

That gave you

A sense of home

Sitting here with my pink laptop

In my glittery pants

With my oatmilk coffee

I cry the tears

that are not mine to cry